The July 4th Holiday is fast approaching in the US. Many people will be having cookouts, parties, fireworks and all kinds of fun to celebrate Independence Day.
Some may even stop to reflect on the ideas of freedom, liberty and independence. Will you? I have been.
Many of us here believe we are free and independent. The reality is that even though our forefathers wrote the prophetic “Declaration of Independence” where all people have the right to pursue life, liberty and happiness, many folks today don’t.
We may think we are independent but but don’t truly live with a sense of liberation. Many folks are are just plain stuck and frustrated.
They feel confined to a job they don’t like or beholden to friend or family out of obligation, not choice. Each day has little joy, and they feel uninspired just “working for the weekend”.
Been there. Done that. Not going back.
People often do things because that’s the way we think we are supposed to, because the doctor said so, or because that’s the way it has always been done. These reactions to life don’t elicit feelings of Independence, do they?
How can we truly be independent if we are reacting instead of living with intention?
In pondering this I had fun coming up with a 4 Independent Personality Types, the: HV, PC, FU and EL.
HV – Helpless Victim Type
Yikes, HV’s are not very independent at all. They often know it too. While not embodying independence, they don’t consider themselves a “a victim” but victim to life and the whims of others is what they are.
- HV’s have trouble making a decision.
- HV’s feels like nothing ever goes their way.
- They “suck it up” and “go along to get along”.
- HV’s often numb by isolating or withdrawing.
- HV’s constantly seek the opinions of other people.
- Boundaries, what are those? Why do I need them?
- HV’s tell their “woes me” sagas to anyone who will listen.
- Taking action frightens an HV. allowing other people make all the decisions.
- HV’s have a lot of safety concerns to the point of it interfering with daily life.
- HV’s shoulders may even be a bit hunched over, complexion pale or expression lifeless.
The unfortunate truth to existing without true independence is that the Helpless Victim Types rarely or never feel the happy, joyous or whole.
PC – Passively Co-Dependent Type
PC’s differ from HVs because even though they may share some of the same sentiments, PC’s believe they are independent. In reality however PCs are actually somewhat manipulative, dependent on others and likely don’t even realize it.
- PCs often feel frustrated.
- PCs don’t know how to say “no.
- PCs take care of everyone else’s needs and neglect their own.
- PCs choose to “help” out, even when it is not wanted by the other person.
- PCs are like a chameleon their colors change with each person they meet.
- PCs do things to or for people to try and get them to behave or act a certain way.
- They will often use food or shopping or numb their pain and bury their real feelings.
- PC’s don’t have a healthy sense of boundaries enmeshing with other people’s energy.
- PCs leak energy all over the place and wonder why they feel exhausted all of the time.
- PCs try to control their environment by being helpful, perfectionist ideals, over planning.
PCs usually want things to play out in a certain way so they feel loved and safe. They act a part with each person expecting the other to act in a certain role and usually feel hurt, sad or angry when the other person does not “role play”.
FU – Fiercely Uninviting Type
The FU types are the opposite extreme of both HV and PC. They are proud of their independence and tend to make sure everyone knows it too. They take being independent to an extreme.
- FU’s tend to have an all or nothing personality.
- FUs have no qualms about voicing their opinion.
- FU’s unconscious mantra is “ FU world, I can do it all myself.”
- FUs have little concept of “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”.
- They seem confident, but they have taken being independent to an extreme.
- FU’s can be “large and in charge” telling everyone what to do and how to do it.
- FU’s shield their hearts with their fierce independence and often feel rather lonely.
- FU’s feels powerful and in control because they fix things for themselves and others.
- These busy, strong types may numb out with alcohol or excessive electronic devices.
- Their “boundaries” (I means walls) are so thick one might need a chainsaw to cut through them and get to know you.
- FU’s can yield a power tool like nobody’s business and feel proud of the fact they fixed the kitchen sink without outside help.
FU’s confuse the truly liberated individual who knows how to ask for help when they need it with the helpless victim who is unable to do anything for themselves. They have been labeled the “B” word”, yet that is not who they really are.
EL – Essence of Liberty Type
This Independent type is grounded and graceful. They are the most balanced and beautiful of the personality types. They radiate true independence because they know who they are and feel a sense of freedom and peace on the inside.
- EL’s have a high energy level.
- EL’s establish healthy boundaries.
- People often gravitate toward the EL types.
- These peaceful folks know that freedom is a choice.
- EL’s are very clear on what they will or won’t accept in their life.
- EL’s nourish themselves and have created healthy habits for living.
- EL’s are also curious and open , yet discerning in what they give their energy to.
- EL’s are not meek, passive or overbearing. Their inner confidence inspires others.
- EL’s are usually happy and have an even temperament no matter what has happened.
- Usually they have a strong personal code but do not try to force their beliefs on others.
- The EL’s have mastered the dance of when to offer help and not to get involved they trust.
The Essence of Liberty types have a keen sense of independence that come from trusting their inner knowing. They take action when they feel called to and are content to do nothing when that feels right too. They live with purpose and intention and can usually be found smiling.
Leave a comment below and let me know what you think of the 4 Independent Personality Types.
Do you fit into any of these categories. Do you Radiate the Essence of Liberty?
If you tend to fall into any of the first three categories, your Independence meter is off kilter. It is not registering at true.
Part of the journey of self discovery and stepping into courage is to come to a place where where we feel more grounded and graceful. When we feel we have choices, when feel a sense of freedom and liberty within, we radiate our light into the world without even trying. It just happens.
Next week on the blog we will dive into the Three Secrets to Radiate the Essence of Liberty.
If you are stuck and need support, I invite you to apply for a Complimentary Courage Awareness Session.
No matter where you are in the world I hope you take some time out to honor your own personal freedom and independence. Tonight my family and I are going to see local fireworks. On the 4th we’ll venture to the local lake and on Saturday gather at a pool party with friend.
However you choose to celebrate, enjoy!